Dear Friends,
 
Many of you know I was raised in South Africa. I moved there with my parents when I was five years old. By then censorship and propaganda were well entrenched by the Whites-only Apartheid government, this representing just 4% of the total population. The problem was that those of us brought up in it did not even see what was happening, even though the rest of the world could see this was not okay. 

The official government narrative was that Apartheid was good for all South Africans, regardless of race. And us Whites of course believed them. Why wouldn’t we? After all, it served our selfish desires to turn a blind eye to the truth. Until it all ended in 1994. 

​For some, fear is the overriding emotion—fear of the unknown, fear of running out of money, fear of losing our homes, fear of becoming sick when there is no known cure, and ultimately, fear of death.

For others, it is anger. We are angry because we are not used to not being in control. After all, our lives are always in control (or so we believe). We have worked very hard to show to the world just how in control of our lives we really are. Nothing is going to interfere with that. We are now angry because we do not like being told what to do—we resent having to conform and comply to another’s rules and regulations. This anger may present itself as bravado, as bullying, or even as laughing in the face of adversity. Actually, we feel powerless. 

And for some, it may be frustration. Frustration at the slow pace of progress over what we believe they knew to be an impending crisis all along. We may pace up and down telling anyone who is interested in listening we were right all along. “I knew this was going to happen”, we declare. Even if someone else is not interested in listening to our frustrations, we are determined they are going to hear them. Our frustration becomes their frustration—and we feel vindicated for our behavior.

Then there are those who are in denial. “This crisis is blown out of all proportion,” we declare to no-one in particular. We believe we know better and make sure others also know we believe this. We are easy to identify—we are the ones being driven by ego, we are highly insensitive to the needs, fears and anxieties of others. We are right, you (and the rest of the world) are wrong.

And finally, we come to the group of people who recognize this crisis is playing out exactly as it needs to. We are in a place of inner-peace, and in that place of stillness we find freedom. While we empathize fully with what others are going through, from a place of unconditional love for all there is, we understand there is nothing we can do other than be guided by the advice of the medical and scientific experts, while also going within and following our inner guidance. We therefore do not buy into the crescendo of opinions, attitudes and noises around us. 
​
Likely, we are each some combination of these states-of-being. Exactly where we find ourselves in any moment is an indication of how much inner work we each still need to do. Different external stimuli will trigger us in different ways. The person who lives an isolated life with no social media accounts, nor watches any TV or listens to radios or podcasts, will navigate this crisis in a far different way to those of us who are uber-plugged into the craziness of information overload. 

​In my book Your Return to Freedom: A practical Guide for Finding Lasting Inner Peace, my Guides presented the Path to Freedom Model(c). Each of the above emotional states is shown on the model. Once you identify with an emotional state—and are totally honest with yourself—you can plot where you are on the model. 
​
Try doing this on the diagram below. It is easy. 

Most of us will likely find ourselves in the third Quadrant. This is the place where we feel totally controlled by rules-based conformance and compliance (on the very left of the model), while at the same time feeling socially isolated from others.

Quadrant 3 is the place of the Matrix.  Breaking the rules has consequences, so we are told. The world is becoming increasingly meaningless (very bottom of the model). 

Lock-downs and stay-at-home orders are highlighting our existence in Quadrant 3. Before now, the control others had over us has been subtle. It no longer is. We are being fully confronted by how we have given up our independence and liberation (which is positioned on the far right of the model) to these man-made rules and regulations. And we are held there through fear—fear of consequences should we challenge these rules, no matter who makes them. 

Furthermore, the social isolation we are now facing is throwing up just how separated we have become for own sense of who we are as interconnected beings. We keep on being told we are all one with God— we are God—but society has been engineered to separate us from this Truth. Religious institutions, which are reliant upon social gatherings to earn their money, are the guiltiest at doing this, and are also now the most vulnerable by having perpetuated this behavior. Virtual churches do not need massive real estate holdings.

This separation from who we are really are as spiritual beings having a human experience, in a time of social isolation results in meaninglessness (the bottom of the model). 

​But with the cards stacked against them, men must first change.

Unless you have been living under a rock the past few weeks, you would have witnessed extraordinarily desperate performances by men in positions of influence (all over the world) terrified they are about to become obsolete. 

​Women are beginning to reclaim their Power, and stop giving it away to the male bullies among us. 

For men to matter in the future, we must step up and do the hard and at times painful work it takes to become fully responsible for all our thoughts, deeds and actions. No more blame-games, no more physical and sexual violence. Men, it is time to repair our broken hearts. No shame in admitting that. But it needs to start now. Ignore this warning and life will become more difficult. Guaranteed. 

In my last blog post I explained why Power is a female energy, while Strength is a male energy. I also explained why men crave what women naturally have – Power. 

A Live Example

The fight over the US Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is a case in point. Dr. Ford, his accuser of alleged sexual misconduct, while admitting she was terrified appearing in an unfamiliar theater, remained poised, calm, in control, and above all, retained her Power.

On the other hand, Kavanaugh more than once behaved like an aggrieved man-child blaming everything and everyone but himself for his predicament. His outbursts from uncontrolled rage to guilt-filled tears, was nothing short of astonishing. Right before our eyes we witnessed what it looks like when a man loses what little personal Power he has and collapses back to the man-child. As a result, he required the all-male-bully-choir to bail him out, to feed the need for his energy body to be topped up again with Strength so he could continue to dispatch another round of blind rage. All the while his enablers, and their enablers, cheered on as though witnessing some ancient blood-sport. 

​A Clash of Energies

Regardless of the final vote on Kavanaugh, the past week has provided a rare glimpse in the world of energy – a world where the Divine Feminine clashed with the Sacred Masculine. One had done her inner-healing work, the other had not. We witnessed a woman and a man-child, not a woman and a man. 

An aspect of the energy of the Divine Feminine is fierceness, or “stone-coldness”. This is not to be confused with rage or anger, for those are often out-of-control emotions, and anything but stone-cold. Stone-coldness stops people in their tracks. As it does not judge, it is impossible to slay it. Women naturally have it. Men can develop it, but most are too lazy instead resorting to physical bullying as the only way to stop others in their tracks. 

We witnessed the stone-coldness of the Divine Feminine when Dr. Ford responded, without hesitation, to how certain she was it was the accused that had attempted to rape her. Moving closer to the microphone and speaking in a low and controlled voice with a stare that permitted no doubt, “100%” is all that was needed – no more words. This is how fierceness works. It does not need explanation, nor justification. Just clarity. She had done her work at healing; she called upon her Sacred Masculine to give her the strength and focus to come forward and testify. And she was ruthless, in her gentle feminine way. 

In that moment, Dr. Ford drained any remnants of Power from Kavanaugh, leaving him exposed as a man-child. It became very clear he had done no work in empowering his innate Divine Feminine. He was used to taking Power from women, apparently by force at times. “No more” is the message he got. And he panicked. Guilt-washed tears flowed. The man used to getting his way, stripped from his source of Power, collapsed. Others had to rush in to save him. 

We are seeing this play out live on not-so-reality TV with President Trump. He too is beginning to learn it’s not okay to simply “grab ‘em by the pussy”, as he ungraciously rebels against those withholding their Power from him, as any man-child would. For he too has done no work on his inner spiritual development, and this will be his downfall. 

​What can be done?

I use the above three actors, not to judge any of them, but because they are so public, and their behaviors are still fresh in our conscious minds. 

Men can chose to do nothing, believing there is nothing for them to do. But as we move further into the Age of Aquarius, the age of the Divine Feminine, the matriarchal era, the #MeToo influence, men who chose to do nothing do so at their own peril. Women will not, and should not, keep on making excuses for men’s bad behavior. It is time for the man-child to finally grow up.

When we embark upon a journey of personal development where we stop judging others (women, people of color, alternate sexual orientations, those with disabilities, and so on), something extraordinary happens. Humility sets in. Grace emerges. Integrity descends. It is as though a part of you has been waiting for you all the time to support you to become a kind, compassionate, caring, fair and joyful human. This is how Power feels when we do our inner-work. And there is an infinite source of Power – we do not need to steal it from another, so let’s stop doing so. Become a truly Powerful man, and lead with fierce integrity.

While I have many women clients dealing with issues around men in their lives, I am disheartened at how few men will take responsibility for the things I hear from these women. Men, there is no shame or judgement in starting our inner-work. But only you can do it. 

So stop waiting and contact me. Let’s make a difference together. Women deserve it, and we owe it to them. 

Your Return to Freedom

This process of inner healing, with the why, how and what, is explained in detail in my book, Your Return to Freedom, A Practical Guide to Lasting Inner Peace. Order your copy here. 

​True Power is an illusive thing. The wisdom-keepers tell us women naturally embody Power. In their desire to claim it for themselves, many men resort to bullying. So what is Power, and why do so many crave it?

​We have all heard the cliche, “Behind every successful man is a powerful woman.” Could this be the clue? Are women more powerful than men? Is this what men are secretively afraid of, and why they so often need to resort to bullying in order to "prove" themselves? And if so, what can men do about it (other than bullying and intimidating others as they have over the centuries)? As it turns out, there is plenty men can do. 

PS: This article is for women too!

Yes, many men do crave power

How often do we see men competing to be in positions of power? The ultimate position in the US, is the president. And in religious organizations it is the head of the church. We say, “These are powerful men.” But are they really?

It all depends what is meant by power

We often confuse positions of power for positions of dominance and control. It is easy to mistakenly admire men who have secretly intimidated and manipulated others on their way to the top of their organizations. We often only recognize their achievements and overlook how they got there. However, men do have unique qualities that certainly can support them in achieving amazing things.

So how do we define power? 

It depends on how you spell power. When spelled with a small ‘p’ as in power, it is defined as “the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality.” So, when we talk about a powerful man, when spelled with a small ‘p’, we are saying nothing more than he has the ability to act in a certain way, for example, to chop wood or lead an organization. 

On the other hand, when power is spelled with a capital ‘P’ as in Power it has a completely different meaning. In the West, this can be a difficult concept to understand as it is an energy, and we are generally not very good at connecting with energy, preferring to fixate instead on the material world. The Eastern philosophies have known about this for a very, very long time.  

They recognize Power is a quality of the Divine Feminine. For example, in Hinduism she would be called the goddess Shakti. This is described very nicely here. The author explains, “Shakti means power, energy, or force. Mythologically, Shakti is always described as feminine, often personified as the goddess, Devi, the divine feminine consort of the divine masculine god Shiva.”

In other words, Power is a female affair! Women naturally embody Power. Men do not. I am certain most men have been on the receiving end of a withering glare from a woman. It does not matter she may only be four feet six inches tall—she will stop a six foot man in his tracks with that look! This is what Power looks like and feels like. And don’t forget, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!”

However, men, do not fret. Men naturally embody Strength, which is harnessed through single-minded focus. Strength is archetypally a male affair. After all, we compete in bar-room brawls and ring-the-bell ego-based type contents to determine who has the greatest strength. We don’t see women doing this, for a reason. 

I believe when we talk about a strong woman, we really mean a Powerful woman, unless she is an athlete in which case she has both strength and Power.

Power is an attribute of the Divine Feminine, and Strength is an attribute of the Sacred Masculine. 

​
​The good news is we all embody an aspect of both Power and Strength—no one is exclusively just one or the other. Perhaps the only woman to embody exclusively Power was Eve, and the only man to embody exclusively Strength was Adam. But that was an eternity ago.

Naturally, most women embody more of the Divine Feminine than  the Sacred Masculine. Equally, most men embody more of the Sacred Masculine than the Divine Feminine.

However, it is not uncommon for these ratios in individuals to be flipped around, but that is a whole different discussion for another blog! Paradoxically, the ideal hu-man is one who embodies equally Power and Strength. There are very few of them around. We call these people “prefect double beings”.

So where do men get Power from?

If we men have not done our personal work to reunite with the Divine Feminine within, we instead go out and steal Power from women. It’s that simple. Just use your attribute of Strength to bully and threaten her, and as she shrinks back she automatically hands her Power over to you. You win, she loses. The current press is full of examples of women finding the courage to stand up to bullies. The #MeToo movement is a classic example of how this is currently playing out. 

As these women reclaim their Power from thieving men, those men energetically become enfeebled. Their whole being seems to collapse before our eyes—their source of Power has been shut off! Some will continue to lash out and bully further, but in time they too will need to confront the inevitable. 

There is a better way—A case study

In my private work with men, I encourage them to focus on integrating with the Divine Feminine within themselves. Some are terrified this will turn them gay! I just laugh when I hear that, as this is impossible. They either are gay or are not gay before we start—they cannot be turned! 

As an example, a young man came to see me as he was having intimacy issues (with women). He was what some would call a man’s man, whatever that really means. He would go out to the bars, get drunk, pick up a woman for the night, and then discard her. He was not proud of his behavior, but he was addicted to it. I suggested what he was really addicted to was the Power he was draining from these women on each encounter.

I then suggested he instead learn to connect directly to the unlimited source of Power within, so he no longer needed to drain women. I told him that once he had learnt to do that, he could see women as equals and not some object to be conquered, and then discarded. He could start to treat women with respect. This sounded like a good idea to him, so we continued.

He initially came to see me believing he needed to work on his Strength so he could better exercise self-control. I am a “seer” meaning I can see the energy body around people. In this client’s instance he was about 80% Sacred Masculine and only about 20% Divine Feminine.

I also shared that this ratio is essentially fixed at birth, this being a choice the soul makes coming in in this incarnation.

Because he was utterly denying even the 20% Divine Feminine within himself, and as the ratio is fixed, in his case at 80/20, there was little chance he could further enhance the quality of the Sacred Masculine he was seeking, namely more Strength. His weak Divine Feminine energy was holding him back.

The only way he was going to heal, was to recognize and build the Divine Feminine within himself, and by doing that, he would rapidly build the Strength he needed to begin to show respect to women. 

He agreed, and we worked together over a period of several months. Today this man is totally transformed and has found a perfect life partner, a woman who matches his level of Strength with an equal level of her Power.

​
​Take action

For my male readers, it is critical you do your work on building direct connection to the source of Power, the Divine Feminine within you. If you fail to do this, you will continue to be a bully as stealing is the only other way to get Power. And we all need Power to survive. So, I encourage men to step up and take personal responsibility for their own healing. And I encourage women to bring this to men’s attention and guide them, gently. If we don’t do this, disharmony will continue. 

The healed man

A well-integrated man displays respect, compassion, empathy, support, does not feel a need to compete against women, is nurturing and is loving. Furthermore, instead of aspiring to single-minded dominance, he welcomes collaboration. He learns to let go of his boyhood ways. He is no longer the man-child blaming everyone and everything around him for his hardships, and instead becomes the man. 

From Your Return to Freedom—A practical Guide to Finding Lasting Inner Peace:

“I can only call myself a man when I stop complaining I am a victim of my circumstances and instead take full responsibility for all my thoughts, deeds and actions. Until then, while I may physically no longer be a child, I am still trapped in my boyhood ways and do not deserve the label of man. As a man, I take personal responsibility for all I do to myself, to others and to the physical environment in which I live. I am fully accountable for all I do.”

Men, get this right, and not only will you become extraordinarily powerful beings, but you will also win the respect and admiration of the women around you. 

Need more?

• Contact me directly by replying to this blog to find out more
• Go to my web site to learn about my work
• Read my book, Your Return to Freedom—A Practical Guide to Finding Lasting Inner Peace

Be Strong, and become Powerful,
Aloha,
Nigel

Have you ever felt exhausted after a conversation with someone? If so, the chances are you’ve just had an encounter with an energy thief. 

​They are all around, and they prey on us all the time, draining us of energy whenever possible. So who are these people, why do they do it, and how do we protect ourselves from them? 

We need energy to survive 

The most direct way of getting this energy is through the foods we consume, which is why it is so crucial we pay attention to what we eat—but this is a whole different topic for another time. A more powerful way is through a direct connection with the source of all energy, that we call God, or Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence, or whatever name works for you. This is where an abundance of energy resides—if only we could tap directly into it. 

However, since children we have been systematically separated from our connection with the source. This was the topic of my previous Blog. The effect of this is to leave us feeling hollow, as though something is missing. And as we explored, there is something missing. The sense of meaninglessness that pervades our being leaves an ache of emptiness which needs to be filled. Unless we go in search of soul medicine, this emptiness will persist.

So what has this got to do with energy thieves? 

People who are unaware it is the separation from source that is causing their emptiness, are likely unaware that to resolve this they need to find a way to heal that broken connection. Instead they will master the art of stealing energy from others to make them feel good about themselves. 

What does this look like? 

Recently a group of us went out for lunch. I live in Hawaii in a semi-rural area. The cafes are quite rustic and it is not uncommon to enter through either the front door or through the back door via the carpark and service entrance. I entered through the front door, found my party and sat down. Soon after, a young lady entered through the rear door and joined us. In so doing, she had passed by a box of salad greens lying next to the trash cans. In a loud voice she announced, “This place is disgusting. They leave their salads in the sun next to the garbage. How can I possibly eat here?”

She then sat back and waited for the reaction. Immediately we went through a range of emotions including disgust, outrage, contempt for the place, and so on. Some of us even defended the cafe suggesting she must be mistaken. Instead of reconsidering her position, she instead chose to dig in deeper, thereby sucking us further into the drama. Clearly she was a master of manipulating others to buy into her need for attention. I left feeling exhausted by the encounter and unfulfilled by the lunch outing. She felt great!

Needless to say, on leaving I went outside to inspect this so-called salad storage location. Just as anticipated, it was the discarded salad greens which had been sorted ready to be collected by a local pig farmer! But she had won—she had stolen energy from those around her. We had become willing participants when she dangled the bait. 

How do we recognize energy thieves, and how can we protect ourselves?

In my book Your Return to Freedom, I discuss the difference between judgement and discrimination, versus discernment and genuine curiosity. One steals energy from the encounter, the other adds energy to the encounter. As soon as we go into a place of judgement or discrimination we are setting the scene for counter arguments and defenses. People with a vested interest in the topic that is being judged are sucked into rejecting or correcting the person doing the judging. Judgement smacks of control and manipulation. 

On the other hand, discernment and genuine curiosity leads to an open-ended conversation as each side seeks to learn more from the other. Energy builds and collaboration is possible. Understanding and compromise result. We leave the encounter feeling vitalized and recharged. I call these moments Appointments in Power. 

Energy thieves are everywhere. They enter into a conversation by complaining about the weather, how bad the traffic is, how unfairly they have been treated by their boss, how nasty their landlord is, and so on. They even complain about lettuce in a cardboard box when entering a cafe! When you hear such complaints, become alert. Go into discernment—into deep curiosity. Is their grievance genuine, or are they trying to pull you into their drama? 

If their grievance is genuine, they will likely want you to listen and not to give advice as they offload whatever it is they need to resolve. This is not the same as a petty compliant about some minor inconvenience, or in the case of salad-lady, pure manipulation for the purpose of sucking others into her fabricated drama. 

Provided you do not allow the energy thief to penetrate your own personal  boundaries, you will know the difference, and you will know how to respond. Protect yourself. Do not allow others to drain you during such conversions. Get out if you have to—make any excuse. No one has the right to steal energy from another, no matter how smart they may be at manipulating others. 

So how did it end with Salad-Lady?

She ended up ordering a pizza, which she endlessly complained about. This is not what she wanted—she really wanted a salad but had sabotaged herself to such an extent she could not bring herself to ordering one.  So instead, I enjoyed my wonderfully fresh Caesar salad as she looked on with contempt. I did not need to engage with her, nor did I have any desire to do so. I value my energy too much to allow another to steal it from me. This annoyed her and also annoyed some of the others who had bought into her drama. I was unsure what they were actually annoyed about.

My advice to you is to recognize these people and to disengage as quickly as possible. This could be by leaving the situation, or by ignoring them. If this is not practical, and if you actually care about the person, you could bring to their attention that their behavior (using specific examples—very important to avoid generalizations) exhausts you and if they don’t stop you will leave.  I have done this too to great effect. A few huffs and puffs and feigned indignations resulted, followed by a pleasant peace thereafter descending upon the encounter as they withdrew their quest to steal energy from the me...until the next time! 

What about You?
​
Now step back and ask yourself, “Am I too an energy thief?” Perhaps it’s time to get back into your meditation practice? Let me know what comes up for you—start or join the discussion below.

Aloha from beautiful Hawaii, the island of fresh salads!
Nigel

"God Made You Perfect". We hear these words all the time. But do we believe them? I mean, REALLY believe them? I would suggest we do not. If we did, the advertising industry would have a tough time selling billions of dollars of goods and services to make us somehow look and feel even more perfect. 

​They can only do this by being complicit in keeping us feeling less than perfect. “But we help people improve their self-esteem,” they may protest. Of course they do, but who helped take it away in the first instance?

Perhaps others have also caused us to feel less than perfect? Apparently, God forgot to tell those who claim to be his spokespersons that making us feel guilty or inferior is the opposite to ensuring we continue to celebrate in the perfection that we already are. Or perhaps it is these spokespersons, often self-proclaimed, that feel they have a better grip on all-there-is than God him (or her, or both) self? These people are not limited to our institutionalized places of worship. They are all around us—their sense of self-importance gives them away. 
​ 
But somehow, I do not think God forgot to tell anyone anything. Instead, we have learnt to master the art of not listening, of not paying attention, of believing we are not as good as the person next to us. For some reason we instead crave affirmation and acknowledgment from others (instead of from God directly), in the false belief they have the authority to make us feel better about ourselves. 

The more adoring “fans” we have, the more Facebook likes we can attract, the more Twitter followers we can seduce, the better this makes us feel, or so we tell ourselves. And this is not limited to uneducated or simple folk—quite the contrary, the more influential we become, the more we seem to crave this adoration. Some people at the highest rungs of power have the greatest need to be adored. Their appetite for affirmation is insatiable. 
​
Where did this appetite for adoration come from? How did we devolve into a species craving so much acknowledgment from others? And what can we do, at a personal level, about it?

In my previous blog, Part (1), we explored the choices we made at a soul level to be incarnated on this dense earth-plane. We also considered how the gift of being born into such a dense realm rapidly accelerates our personal evolution, should we so chose. Having made those choices at the soul level, once conception takes place, we are now firmly on the path of doing the best we can at the human level. Some do better than others. But we all return back to spirit one day, and it is there we shall have the chance to review the soul’s progress while in this physical incarnation, without judgement. 
​
Prior to conception we are free. We are unbounded by human rules and regulations. This changes once conception occurs, and certainly after we are born. Just remaining alive in the first year or two of life demands of us that we surrender our soul liberation and instead begin to conform and comply to the demands of the world around us. Feeding schedules, sleep cycles, obeying basic commands, and learning to fit in and please our caretakers becomes critically important for our survival. And so it is by the time we reach the age of four or five, we have essentially learnt to forego the independence we enjoyed at the soul level in preference for the necessity of compliance to ensure our physical survival. 

And then something BIG happens. Philosophers and mystics over the ages have written about this. But no one quite knows how this happens. Around four to five years of age, it is as though a part of us splits away leaving us feeling vulnerable and fearful of what the world has suddenly become. Our so-called imaginary friends fade away, or we are told by our caregivers they are not real. We begin to doubt who we are, and what we are. The mysterious world around us dims. We lose the sense we are one with all. The “I AM” gives way in favor of our caregivers’ definition of the world. Quickly we take on their prejudices, judgments and limitations. And we learn to obey.

We learn to fit into a world as defined by our society. A lucky few may have enlightened parents who recognize the God-perfection in their children and support their growth without fear and limitations. The rest find ourselves dropping into a place of increasing meaninglessness, without knowing it.  In time, we replace our identities of being connected with the all-there-is in favor of being told we are separate from everything. “Life is a struggle,” we are told. “Only the strongest will survive!” The bully is born.

We learn to attract the attention of others hoping they will make us feel better about ourselves, not for once considering that they are on the same quest to find that which they too lost at a young age. Just as we begin to rebel against the world (for manipulating us into a meaningless place of conformance and compliance), the dating game starts and we look outside of ourselves for that which we lost at a young age to make us feel whole again. Struggles ensue for power and control. He, or she, who can command most attention wins. Or so we believe. But we are never truly satisfied. Others cannot replace the very thing we are searching for, the aspect of ourselves we became separated from at the age four or five--the true essence of who we are--and have since forgotten how to reconnect with. 

Advertisers exploit this gnawing need to reconnect with who we really are, exploiting this feeling of loss and inner emptiness. Their goal is to make us believe we will feel better about ourselves once we buy the product or service they are paid to promote. Sure, a nice new shiny object will distract us for a short time, just as it did when we were the five-year-old, but then it’s promise of fulfillment wears off. We look around for something else to distract us. In the absence of understanding what it is we are actually searching for, we willingly spend more on short-term gratification. We are drowning in material objects, feeling increasingly lonely in our sea of cheap plastics.  

Then one day we wake up—some sooner than others. More often than not, the wakeup call comes at a price. This could be a family crisis, a job loss, a major health issue, an accident, or any other emergency which forces us to cease the manic quest for external attention, adoration, adulation, acceptance, or admiration. We stop, or are forced to stop. 

As you look around you no longer recognize the world. Not much makes sense. Like an external observer looking in, you witness the madness of your previous manic life, knowing this is not who you are. Instead you become aware of that little voice deep inside needing to be heard, inviting you to rediscover it and begin the long and rewarding journey to reclaiming the true beauty that you are. No longer are you seduced into believing you are less than perfect. You are now free to choose what works for you and what does not, on your terms. You have the courage to find your purpose, despite the obstacles which will invariably be thrown up by those close and not-so-close to you. 

The inner voice replaces the meaningless words being mouthed by others who would exploit you to their selfish ends. Stillness overcomes fear and anxiety. In time, you begin to remember who you are, a perfect expression of God. And as you do, the very thing you went in search of, your soul-aspect that you became separated from at a young age shows itself. You are finally coming home. 

​Some reach this place of inner peace before others. Some never get there at all, except at death. A few lucky ones never left it. However, it is available to all of us, without exception. Just believing God made you perfect is a significant step towards freedom. It is yours to claim—go for it!!

Parts 1 and 2 of this blog are broad themes supporting the Path to Freedom as described in Your RETURN to FREEDOM: A Practical Guide to Finding Lasting Inner Peace. Resources are included to support the reader through a process of returning to a place of inner stillness.

​Yes, even YOU! But we forget this very quickly. Instead, we spend most of our lives trying to conform and comply to some (typically impossible) idea of how we believe we must be in order to win approval from others. How did we get here, and why do we allow this to happen to us?

​The heading of this blog has been borrowed from a line in the comedy Bridget Jones’s Diary. In the movie, Bridget was so hung up on all her “defects” she was unable to recognize that others instead saw her as a perfect being. Her relationship with her mother had a lot to do with this!  

In Your RETURN to FREEDOM: A Practical Guide To Lasting Inner Peace, I introduce the notion that prior to conception we are totally free. Our souls are a unique expression of the Infinite Spirit, or God, or whatever you’d like to call the Unknowable (a Toltec term, by the way). Prior to conception, we are neither bounded nor constrained by the rules of man. Instead, we are in a place of freedom. This is the same sense we try to recreate when on vacation, as discussed in my previous blog. ​

However, at the soul level, we also know that incarnating into the dense realms of matter called earth accelerates our soul evolution immeasurably. At the soul level, we have each decided to incarnate into this school of rapid learning, as this is the quickest way for our souls to evolve.
 
Having made the decision to incarnate on planet earth, we then “look around” for who would be the best parents to incarnate through, so we may all maximize our respective potential for soul growth. The author and medical intuit Caroline Myss calls this our sacred contracts. It may take time to find the perfect parents who are willing to also enter into this contract. However, once this sacred contract has been agreed upon, all parties then knowingly and willingly accept their respective roles to ensure maximum evolutionary benefit for all. And then conception occurs!

​As an aside, I recall one evening having dinner with my parents at a seaside resort close to where I lived. They were aware I had embarked upon a journey of deep soul growth. They were even quite curious as to how this process was unfolding. What they were not expecting is what happened next. In the middle of dinner, I said, “You know, I believe we choose our parents to be born through.” They nodded quietly having heard me say this before, wondering where this was leading. I then casually added, “I would like to thank you both for being such shitty parents!” and then carried on eating. It was true that my childhood had been emotionally quite challenging. It was also true I had become a master of disguising my inner turmoil for fear of not being good enough just the way I was. This fear consumed my childhood. I learnt to become compliant, to be seen and not heard—to please. Such was my British upbringing.
 
The look of surprise and confusion on their faces was priceless. “Yes,” I continued, “if it wasn’t for my challenging childhood I would never have been pushed to do my inner work and healing. I thus want to thank you for being a part of this process, even it was very uncomfortable.” I then sat back feeling relived I had voiced my truth. They just looked at each other. Was this a compliment, or a side-swipe criticism, they wondered? There was nothing more to say, so we continued as if nothing had just happened. That is the way it is with us British! But we were at least one step closer to all reclaiming our authentic selves. 

​Continuing our story, at the moment of conception we make the choice to become part of the human family for however long it takes us to fulfil the terms of the contract. This may be for only a very short time, or it could be into ripe old age. At the soul level, there is no judgement as to how long we are to be a part of this incredible experience called human. Some souls may never be born, instead having the pregnancy terminated early for whatever reason. They are often the greatest teachers to their parents, having fulfilled their contract and are ready to move on to find a new contract to enter into.
 
Others may choose to incarnate with physical or mental “handicaps”, this being the ultimate gift to all around them, as they are excellent teachers of compassion and unconditional love. Others still may choose to incarnate as a same-sex attracted soul-being, this too being a decision at the soul level. So-called minority groups within society are often our greatest teachers. They have chosen a challenging path, not only to accelerate their own soul growth, but to also accelerate the soul growth of those around them. Instead of judging and discriminating against them, let’s rather drop into a place of deep curiosity and discern what their journey is for them, and what it means for each of us. This is no place for prejudice.