Yes, even YOU! But we forget this very quickly. Instead, we spend most of our lives trying to conform and comply to some (typically impossible) idea of how we believe we must be in order to win approval from others. How did we get here, and why do we allow this to happen to us?
The heading of this blog has been borrowed from a line in the comedy Bridget Jones’s Diary. In the movie, Bridget was so hung up on all her “defects” she was unable to recognize that others instead saw her as a perfect being. Her relationship with her mother had a lot to do with this!
Once Upon A Time...
In Your RETURN to FREEDOM: A Practical Guide To Lasting Inner Peace, I introduce the notion that prior to conception we are totally free. Our souls are a unique expression of the Infinite Spirit, or God, or whatever you’d like to call the Unknowable (a Toltec term, by the way). Prior to conception, we are neither bounded nor constrained by the rules of man. Instead, we are in a place of freedom. This is the same sense we try to recreate when on vacation, as discussed in my previous blog.
Speeding Things Up
However, at the soul level, we also know that incarnating into the dense realms of matter called earth accelerates our soul evolution immeasurably. At the soul level, we have each decided to incarnate into this school of rapid learning, as this is the quickest way for our souls to evolve.
Having made the decision to incarnate on planet earth, we then “look around” for who would be the best parents to incarnate through, so we may all maximize our respective potential for soul growth. The author and medical intuit Caroline Myss calls this our sacred contracts. It may take time to find the perfect parents who are willing to also enter into this contract. However, once this sacred contract has been agreed upon, all parties then knowingly and willingly accept their respective roles to ensure maximum evolutionary benefit for all. And then conception occurs!
My (very) Personal Story...
As an aside, I recall one evening having dinner with my parents at a seaside resort close to where I lived. They were aware I had embarked upon a journey of deep soul growth. They were even quite curious as to how this process was unfolding. What they were not expecting is what happened next. In the middle of dinner, I said, “You know, I believe we choose our parents to be born through.” They nodded quietly having heard me say this before, wondering where this was leading. I then casually added, “I would like to thank you both for being such shitty parents!” and then carried on eating. It was true that my childhood had been emotionally quite challenging. It was also true I had become a master of disguising my inner turmoil for fear of not being good enough just the way I was. This fear consumed my childhood. I learnt to become compliant, to be seen and not heard—to please. Such was my British upbringing.
The look of surprise and confusion on their faces was priceless. “Yes,” I continued, “if it wasn’t for my challenging childhood I would never have been pushed to do my inner work and healing. I thus want to thank you for being a part of this process, even it was very uncomfortable.” I then sat back feeling relived I had voiced my truth. They just looked at each other. Was this a compliment, or a side-swipe criticism, they wondered? There was nothing more to say, so we continued as if nothing had just happened. That is the way it is with us British! But we were at least one step closer to all reclaiming our authentic selves.
A Star is Conceived (You)
Continuing our story, at the moment of conception we make the choice to become part of the human family for however long it takes us to fulfil the terms of the contract. This may be for only a very short time, or it could be into ripe old age. At the soul level, there is no judgement as to how long we are to be a part of this incredible experience called human. Some souls may never be born, instead having the pregnancy terminated early for whatever reason. They are often the greatest teachers to their parents, having fulfilled their contract and are ready to move on to find a new contract to enter into.
Others may choose to incarnate with physical or mental “handicaps”, this being the ultimate gift to all around them, as they are excellent teachers of compassion and unconditional love. Others still may choose to incarnate as a same-sex attracted soul-being, this too being a decision at the soul level. So-called minority groups within society are often our greatest teachers. They have chosen a challenging path, not only to accelerate their own soul growth, but to also accelerate the soul growth of those around them. Instead of judging and discriminating against them, let’s rather drop into a place of deep curiosity and discern what their journey is for them, and what it means for each of us. This is no place for prejudice.
A Choice, or Not a Choice?
It needs to be noted that these choices are made at the soul level. Once conception occurs there is no going back and changing the choices made. For example, being born straight or gay is a choice at the soul level. After conception one’s sexual orientation is no longer a choice. I cannot suddenly decide I no longer want to be gay and instead would rather be born straight. For others to believe otherwise is where the opportunity for their own soul growth lies. Exactly the same concept applies to gender, gender identification, race, physical appearance, and so on. Each soul conceived is a pure expression of Spirit, or God. There are no mistakes, only gifts of love from Infinite Intelligence. Just as Bridget Jones had to learn, our challenge is to accept these gifts unconditionally. We are all perfect just the way we are!
In my next blog, we will explore what happens at the soul level at the time of birth, and into the early stages of our lives. We will also learn that something BIG happens around the critical age of four to five. Stay tuned!
Meet the Author
Nigel B. Patterson was born in Tanzania, Africa and has lived in four countries across three continents. A significant life-crisis at the age of thirty-five shattered his carefully constructed ego-based self, and propelled him onto the path of the spiritual warrior. Today he is an author, coach and spiritual teacher living in Hawaii. He supports clients around the globe in their quest for freedom.